cadence-voice:resolving-conflicts

Conflict Resolution

Source: Gartner Research "How to Neutralize a Political Attacker" (G00775161, October 2022)

When political attacks cannot be resolved diplomatically, executive leaders must use power appropriately to neutralize inappropriate behavior while maintaining professional relationships.

Overview

Political attacks that advance someone's personal agenda at the expense of colleagues or the organization are common, especially during enterprise stressors like economic pressures, talent shortages, and burnout.

Types of Political Attacks:

• Blaming others for business failure or potential failure
• Pursuing agenda that favors individual priorities at expense of group/enterprise interests
• Attempting to get one's way through personal attacks or inappropriate behavior rather than data/business cases

When to Use This Framework:

• Verbal diplomacy has failed
• Behavior is damaging to team, project, or enterprise
• Pattern of inappropriate behavior exists
• Enterprise values or policies are being violated

The MOAR Framework

Four steps to neutralize political attacks:

1. MESSAGE → 2. OBSTRUCT → 3. AGITATE → 4. RESTORE

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Step 1: MESSAGE

Craft a clear, four-part message to send to the colleague and larger enterprise.

Four-Part Message Formula

1. NAME the behavior
   "Behavior X of yours violates this principle..."

2. STATE why it's problematic
   "Behavior X causes problem Y..."

3. HOLD accountable
   "Please stop that."
   "Please fix the damage X caused."

4. MAKE consequences clear
   "Or there will be consequences."
   "And that applies to everyone else as well."

Example Messages

Compliance/Risk Scenario:

"This is not consistent with our best practices. It places the enterprise at financial and compliance risk and may not continue."

Behavioral Standards Scenario:

"This is not how we treat one another in this company. We hold ourselves to high standards of behavior, even when we are under pressure."

Example: Unauthorized Contract Signing

"Signing vendor contracts without involving procurement and architecture review (NAME) violates our enterprise governance policy (STATE). This specific contract must be reviewed for compliance, and all remediation costs will be charged to your budget (HOLD). Future violations will be escalated to the executive committee (CONSEQUENCES)."

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Step 2: OBSTRUCT

Use power appropriately and proportionately to obstruct the negative behavior.

Before Obstruction: Feasibility Assessment

Ask yourself:

Potential to Neutralize:

• Do you have the power to cancel out your opponent?
• Are you willing to use that power?
• How will they respond to your use of power?

Risk Assessment:

• What is the potential collateral damage of neutralizing them?
• Can you aim it in a direction to minimize collateral damage?
• If not, is the collateral damage worth it?
• Will neutralizing them end the issue, delay it, or escalate it?

Obstruction Tactics (Examples)

Choose tactics proportionate to the situation:

Situation	Obstruction Tactic
Unauthorized contract	Work with finance to cancel contract
Non-compliant vendor	Block vendor product/service in areas you control
Policy violation	Charge colleague for all remediation expenses
Resource hoarding	Redirect resources through alternative channels
Undermining initiatives	Escalate to shared superior with documentation

Power Sources You Can Use

• Positional power - Authority from your role
• Expert power - Technical or domain expertise
• Resource power - Control over budget, headcount, or assets
• Relationship power - Network and alliances
• Information power - Access to critical data or insights
• Process power - Control over workflows or approvals

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Step 3: AGITATE

Obstruction will agitate the colleague. This is intentional and necessary.

Purpose of Agitation

• Ensures colleague understands significance of their actions
• Makes it more likely they'll recall the incident if tempted again
• Creates accountability moment
• Demonstrates to others that behavior has consequences

Calibrating Agitation Level

Only allow as much agitation as absolutely necessary to get the message across.

        Criticality of Message
                ↑
                │
    Enterprise  │ ●────── Maximum Agitation
      Policy    │
                │
    Enterprise  │   ●──── Higher Agitation
   Communication│
                │
     Public     │     ●── Moderate Agitation
    Discussion  │
                │
    Private     │       ● Minimal Agitation
   Discussion   │
                │
                └─────────────────────────→
                 Number of People Who Need
                    to Hear the Message

Guidelines:

Agitation Level	When to Use	How to Execute
Private Discussion	Minor infraction, first occurrence	One-on-one conversation, document in writing
Public Discussion	Repeated behavior, small team impact	Address in team meeting without naming names
Enterprise Communication	Policy violation, department impact	Department communication citing the policy
Enterprise Policy	Severe violation, everyone needs to know	Enterprise-wide policy reminder or update

⚠️ Warning: Do not allow more agitation than necessary. Over-agitating creates martyrs and damages your reputation.

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Step 4: RESTORE

The restoration step is essential to a positive, long-lasting relationship.

When to Restore

Restoration takes place ONLY after:

• ✅ Stakeholder has gotten the message
• ✅ Apologized or acknowledged the missteps
• ✅ Committed to refraining from similar behavior in the future

Restoration Process

Restore Trigger → "I'm Sorry" → Restore Actions → Thank Them →
Collaboratively Partner → Solve Problem Together →
Fulfill Enterprise Goals

"I Promise Not to Do It Again" - Colleague acknowledges mistake

Restoration Actions - Leader takes material action colleague will value:

• Partner visibly on solution
• Provide resources or support for remediation
• Publicly acknowledge their accountability and growth
• Include them in future decisions on the topic

Moving Forward Together - Demonstrate that accountability + growth = positive outcomes

Key Restoration Principles

✅ Restoration IS:

• Accountability
• Dignity
• Moving forward together
• Reciprocating with something material they value
• Visible partnership in view of enterprise

❌ Restoration is NOT:

• Explaining why you were right and they were wrong
• Making them feel small
• Holding grudges
• Keeping them on probation indefinitely

Example Restoration Actions

Scenario	Restoration Action
Unauthorized contract	Partner with them to find compliant solution that meets their business need
Resource hoarding	Include them in resource allocation planning for next quarter
Undermining initiative	Give them visible role in initiative's next phase
Policy violation	Ask them to help improve the policy or process

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⚠️ Critical Warnings

Never Neutralize Without Restoration

Neutralizing a colleague without restoration will:

• ❌ Appear vengeful, petty, or power-mongering
• ❌ Damage your relationship with the colleague
• ❌ Damage your reputation with the rest of the organization
• ❌ Create an enemy who will wait for opportunity to retaliate
• ❌ Undermine your credibility as a leader

When NOT to Use This Framework

Do NOT use neutralization tactics when:

• Issue can be resolved through diplomacy
• You don't have sufficient power to follow through
• Collateral damage outweighs benefits
• You're unable or unwilling to restore the person afterward
• You're acting out of anger rather than principle
• The person is your superior (requires different approach)

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Decision Framework

Use this decision tree to determine your approach:

Is behavior inappropriate and damaging?
├─ No → Monitor situation
└─ Yes → Can it be resolved through diplomacy?
    ├─ Yes → Use verbal diplomacy techniques
    └─ No → Do you have power to neutralize?
        ├─ No → Escalate to someone who does
        └─ Yes → Are you willing to restore them?
            ├─ No → DO NOT NEUTRALIZE (find alternative)
            └─ Yes → Assess risks
                ├─ Unacceptable collateral damage → Find alternative
                └─ Acceptable risks → Proceed with MOAR framework

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Common Scenarios

Scenario 1: Unauthorized Contract

Situation: Colleague under pressure signs vendor contract without involving required stakeholders. When confronted, blames others for slow processes.

MESSAGE: "Signing contracts without procurement and architecture review violates governance policy. This creates compliance risk and sets a precedent others might follow. The contract must be reviewed. Remediation costs will be charged to your budget. Future violations will be escalated to the executive committee."

OBSTRUCT: Work with finance to pause contract payments until compliance review is complete. Block vendor access to enterprise systems.

AGITATE: Enterprise communication sent reminding all leaders of contract signing policy (doesn't name colleague, but timing makes it clear).

RESTORE: After compliance review and remediation, partner with colleague to create expedited review process for urgent vendor needs. Give them credit for identifying process improvement opportunity.

Scenario 2: Blame-Shifting in Project Failure

Situation: Project is failing. Colleague publicly blames your team for not delivering infrastructure on time, when real issue was changing requirements without communication.

MESSAGE: "Publicly blaming other teams (NAME) without first understanding the full situation (STATE) damages cross-functional trust and is not consistent with our values. We need to review the timeline together and agree on facts (HOLD). Further public blame-shifting will require executive mediation (CONSEQUENCES)."

OBSTRUCT: Send detailed timeline to all stakeholders showing requirement changes and lack of communication. Request joint postmortem facilitated by neutral third party.

AGITATE: Public discussion - Postmortem meeting with all stakeholders present where facts are reviewed.

RESTORE: After colleague acknowledges miscommunication, partner with them to create shared project dashboard that provides visibility to both teams. Co-present lessons learned at department all-hands.

Scenario 3: Resource Hoarding

Situation: Colleague consistently hoards shared resources (engineers, budget, equipment) for their initiatives at expense of enterprise priorities.

MESSAGE: "Allocating shared resources exclusively to your initiatives (NAME) prevents the enterprise from delivering on strategic priorities (STATE). Resource allocation must align with enterprise priorities. Please release 3 engineers to work on the customer platform initiative (HOLD). Continued resource hoarding will result in centralized resource allocation (CONSEQUENCES)."

OBSTRUCT: Escalate to shared superior with data showing impact on enterprise priorities. Request resource reallocation decision.

AGITATE: Enterprise communication about resource allocation principles and alignment to strategy.

RESTORE: After resources are reallocated, include colleague in enterprise resource planning process. Give them opportunity to make the case for their initiatives within the framework. Publicly acknowledge their commitment to enterprise priorities.

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Best Practices

Do's ✅

• Assess thoroughly before taking action
• Document everything - conversations, decisions, impacts
• Focus on behavior not person
• Be proportionate - use minimum necessary force
• Plan restoration before you start
• Communicate clearly and directly
• Follow through on stated consequences
• Restore meaningfully with material actions
• Learn from it - improve processes to prevent recurrence

Don'ts ❌

• Don't act in anger - wait until you're calm
• Don't make it personal - stick to business impact
• Don't over-agitate - more noise doesn't equal better results
• Don't skip restoration - it's not optional
• Don't create precedents you can't sustain
• Don't use nuclear options first - escalate appropriately
• Don't neutralize your boss - requires different approach
• Don't forget forgiveness - people can change

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When Done Well

Successful neutralization:

• ✅ Strengthens your reputation as principled leader
• ✅ Prevents future aggressive political attacks
• ✅ Creates greater accountability in the organization
• ✅ Leads to stronger relationships (after restoration)
• ✅ Improves enterprise culture over time
• ✅ Demonstrates that values matter

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Further Reading

• "How to Be a Verbal Diplomat When Under Political Attack" (Gartner)
• "Lesson Videos: Mastering CIO Power Politics" (Gartner)
• "Managing the Politics of Family-Owned Businesses for CIOs" (Gartner)

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This skill is based on Gartner research and is intended for executive leaders who must occasionally use power to protect organizational interests while maintaining professional relationships.