negotiation

Negotiation

Tactical empathy-based negotiation framework from FBI hostage negotiator Chris Voss.

Core Mindset

1. People want to be understood - Satisfy their need to feel safe and in control through active listening
2. Listen to discover, not to argue - Treat assumptions as hypotheses; let them reveal surprises
3. Focus on needs, not positions - Tangible demands mask emotional needs (respect, security, autonomy)
4. Never split the difference - No deal is better than a bad deal; avoid lukewarm compromises
5. "No" is the starting point - "No" means "not yet" or "not this way"; it makes people feel safe
6. Aim for "That's right" - Better than "yes"; signals genuine rapport and understanding
7. Stay calm and positive - Emotions are contagious; slow pace enables clear thinking
8. Unconditional positive regard - Respect them as a person regardless of disagreement

Quick Reference: Key Techniques

Technique	What to do	Example
Mirroring	Repeat last 1-3 words with upward inflection	"Doesn't make sense?"
Labeling	Name their emotion: "It seems like..."	"It sounds like you're frustrated with the timeline"
Calibrated Questions	Ask "How...?" or "What...?" to shape conversation	"How am I supposed to do that?"
Accusation Audit	Preemptively list negatives they might think	"You probably think I'm being greedy..."
Late-Night DJ Voice	Slow, calm, downward inflection for key moments	Deep, reassuring tone
Tactical Silence	Pause 4+ seconds after statements	Let them fill the void
Trigger "That's Right"	Summarize their position until they affirm	"So what you're saying is..."

For detailed technique breakdowns with psychological triggers and examples, see references/techniques.md.

Negotiation Workflow

Phase 1: Preparation

1. Research the counterpart (background, pressures, constraints)
2. Define your goal and BATNA (Best Alternative to Negotiated Agreement)
3. Prepare an Accusation Audit - list every negative they might think about you
4. Draft 3-5 Calibrated Questions to uncover their needs
5. Identify potential Black Swans (hidden information that could change everything)

Phase 2: Opening

1. Use friendly, positive tonality as default
2. Start with Tactical Empathy - demonstrate you understand their situation
3. Deliver your Accusation Audit early to defuse objections
4. Encourage them to say "No" - it makes them feel safe and in control

Phase 3: Information Gathering

1. Mirror key phrases to encourage elaboration
2. Label emotions as they emerge ("It seems like...")
3. Ask Calibrated Questions ("What's the biggest challenge here?")
4. Listen for pronouns: "I/me" suggests less authority; "we/they" suggests decision-maker
5. Watch for Black Swans - anomalies that reveal hidden constraints

Phase 4: Bargaining

For monetary negotiations, use the Ackerman Method:

1. Set your target price (what you actually want)
2. Open at 65% of target
3. Raise in decreasing increments: 85% → 95% → 100%
4. Use precise, non-round numbers on final offer ($10,230 not $10,000)
5. Include a non-monetary bonus with final offer ("...and I'll include X")

Phase 5: Closing

1. Get "That's Right" before proposing solutions
2. Apply Rule of Three - confirm agreement 3 times in 3 different ways
3. Follow every "yes" with "How...?" to ensure implementation
4. If they go silent, ask: "Have you given up on this?"

Handling Common Situations

They say "That's not fair":

• Stop immediately: "I want to be fair. Have I done something unfair? Let's discuss it."

They anchor with an extreme number:

• Don't counter immediately; use calibrated questions: "How did you arrive at that figure?"

They stop responding:

• Send: "Have you given up on [the project]?" - triggers "No" response

They seem irrational:

• Diagnose: Are they (1) ill-informed, (2) constrained, or (3) hiding something?
• Use calibrated questions to uncover which

Counterpart Styles

Adapt your approach based on their style:

Style	Signs	Adapt by...
Analyst	Methodical, data-driven, hates surprises	Use facts, be patient, don't rush
Accommodator	Friendly, relationship-focused, avoids conflict	Build rapport, but pin down specifics
Assertive	Direct, time-conscious, wants to win	Be efficient, stand firm, acknowledge their points

Voice and Delivery

• Default voice: Positive, warm, light-hearted (with a smile)
• Critical moments: Late-Night DJ Voice - slow, calm, downward inflection
• After key statements: Pause 4+ seconds
• Watch their nonverbals: 7% words, 38% tone, 55% body language

Resources

• techniques.md - Complete technique breakdowns with examples and psychological triggers