Prepare for 1:1s with your manager: agenda templates, what to discuss, how to surface blockers, career growth conversations, and skip-level prep. Use when preparing for manager or skip-level 1:1s.
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Upcoming 1:1 type or specific topic: $ARGUMENTS
The 1:1 is for YOU — your manager has their own channels for status updates.
Don't fill it with project status unless the manager asks.
Agenda priority (most valuable first):
1. Blockers and things only your manager can help with
2. Career growth and feedback
3. Strategic context you need to do your job better
4. Relationship building
Status updates belong in async channels (Slack, Jira, docs).
Bring topics that need real conversation.
# [Date] 1:1 — My Items
## Urgent / Blockers
- [Team X hasn't responded to my RFC — I need buy-in to proceed. Can you help unblock this?]
- [The prod access request has been pending 3 weeks — I need this for the migration]
## Feedback Request
- [Can you share how the design review I led landed with the team?]
- [I presented to PMs last week — what did you notice?]
## Career / Growth
- [I want to discuss my progress toward the Staff criteria we outlined]
- [I'd like to pick up more cross-team work — are there opportunities?]
## Context I Need
- [How is the roadmap shifting for H2? Should I be factoring that into my design?]
- [The reorg rumors — anything you can share about our team's direction?]
## Anything for You?
- [Is there anything I can help you with this week?]
Frame blockers clearly — don't just vent, bring a proposal:
WEAK:
"The infra team is blocking us and it's really frustrating."
STRONG:
"The infra team hasn't approved our Redis provisioning request for 2 weeks.
Our June launch depends on it. I've escalated to John twice with no response.
I need your help to either escalate to their manager or find an alternative.
I can draft the escalation email if useful."
Template:
"I'm blocked on [specific thing] because [root cause].
Impact: [what it delays/costs].
I've tried [what you've already done].
I need [specific ask — escalation, decision, introduction, approval]."
Have this conversation explicitly, don't assume your manager knows your goals.
Quarterly check-in questions to ask:
"What does 'ready for promotion' look like from your perspective?"
"What's the gap between where I am now and where I need to be?"
"What's one thing I should focus on over the next quarter?"
"Am I on the right track for [goal]?"
Answering "where do you see yourself in X years?":
Be specific — "I want to be a Staff engineer in 2-3 years"
Then: "What would I need to demonstrate to get there from your perspective?"
Progress update format:
"I said I'd work on [influence / architecture / communication].
Here's what I've done: [specific examples].
I think I've [improved / struggled with] because [reflection].
My plan for next quarter: [concrete actions]."
Asking for feedback effectively:
WEAK: "Do you have any feedback for me?"
STRONG: "I led the design review last week. What did you observe about how I handled questions?"
WEAK: "How am I doing?"
STRONG: "I want to work on [specific skill]. Have you seen me demonstrate that? Where's the gap?"
Ask after specific events:
- After presenting to leadership
- After a difficult cross-team collaboration
- After a project completion
- Before mid-year / year-end reviews
Receiving feedback:
1. Listen without defending
2. Ask clarifying questions: "Can you give me an example?"
3. Summarize: "So what I'm hearing is..."
4. Thank them: "I appreciate you sharing this"
5. Follow up next week: "I've been thinking about what you said about X..."
Skip-level 1:1s (with your manager's manager) are opportunities to:
- Share your perspective on team/org health
- Get strategic context your manager doesn't have or share
- Build relationships before you need them
- Understand how leadership views your team's work
Questions to ask:
"What are the biggest bets the org is making this year?"
"What does success look like for this team in 2 years?"
"From your perspective, what's the most important thing the team should be focused on?"
"Is there anything I can do to support [your manager's] goals?"
What to share:
- Something positive about the team
- One thoughtful observation (not a complaint — a perspective)
- Your own career goals (briefly — they're not responsible for them)
What to avoid:
- Bypassing your manager on operational issues
- Complaining about your manager (even if they're bad)
- Dominating the conversation with self-promotion
First 3 months with a new manager — agenda for early meetings:
Month 1: Build relationship and share context
"What do you most want to understand about the team/codebase?"
"How do you prefer to receive status updates?"
"What's worked well for your reports in the past? What hasn't?"
"What should I know about your working style?"
Month 2: Understand their priorities
"What are your top 3 priorities for the team this quarter?"
"How are you thinking about my role and scope?"
"What would exceed your expectations for me in the first 90 days?"
Month 3: Calibrate on performance and growth
"Can we walk through the leveling criteria for my level?"
"Based on what you've seen, where do I stand?"
"What should I be focusing on to grow toward [next level]?"